Athena's Thots...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

8:30 PM

I did something which I has always thought impossible: I made it clear to Big that we should go our separate ways. It is painful, I would be a liar to say it isn't.... But deep inside, I know I did the right thing. I just can't live with his way ~ not being there for me when I was sick, said he missed me but always too busy to have time for me, even a dinner with him needs to make appointment in advance! How naive was I to think that so long I can be with him, I don't mind him not able to be there for me. Afterall, its the thought that counts, isn't it?

No wonder they say love is selfish ~ the longer it goes, the more unsecure I feel. I don't want to be always needy and sticky to him, not only its repulsive to him, I don't like that kind of feeling at all! I want stability and commitment from him, I want security. Since he can't give me what I want, and I don't want to burden him, I think this is the best way out. Its gonna be painful, but I believe time will heal all wounds...

No hard feeling for Big: I wish him all the best in life ~ his family, work and everything. So long he's happy, I'll be happy too.

Things that i always thought were impossible, had just been made possible.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

12:39 AM

Finally, my favourite book is made into a movie!

So when two species from different planets try to decipher each other's secret language, that's when all the funny and innocent misunderstandings start to surface.

So are you the exception, or are you the rule?

I'd rather believe that I'm the rule... So at least it won't hurt so bad when things don't turn out the way expected.

A guy will move a mountain to prove that he's the right one for you. Otherwise, he's just not that into you. *-*

Saturday, February 14, 2009

11:55 PM

Today is supposed to be a day with the loved ones around, but not for me. Missed Big like mad since I woke up in the morning but has been trying to contain myself not to sms (disturb) him, but I just can't get his image out of my mind the whole day! Arghh.... This is what I hate most: to miss someone like this and he can't be with me, and there is nothing I can do to the torment that he cannot be with me cuz he's with someone else..... (sob sob...)

Finally can't contained it any longer at night and sent him an sms "Happy v-day". A moment later, he responsed by telling me to have a great weekend and that he's at home now, as if encoded with a secret msg - "Do not disturb anymore". Ironic isn't it, to tell me to enjoy my great weekend when you can't be there for me on v-day? Haha.... There is only a certain limit of how much one can take, and I don't know how long I can hold on to.....

Well, at least I still enjoy a very intimate relationship with two guys - Ben and Jerry. Two tubs of Cherry Garcia produce enough chemicals to make me feel in love again....

2:46 AM

Big gave me one of the biggest surprise today: he actually sent a bouquet of white roses to my office today! Thou I would have preferred red roses, its the thots that count and I'm loving it!

Was immersing in the afterglow of our outing the night before when I couldn't hold back the urge to sms him. Well, his response was less than welcoming... One sentence reply ~ short and sweet ~ usually an indication that he is busy, officially, or I think more likely, in reality, that he doesn't want to talk to me. Discouraged, I stopped the sms and tried to concentrate on my work, trying to push the image of him off my mind. When at around 4pm+, my receptionist Susan intercommed me that there is something from me at the reception. Thot it must be some financial documents that were couriered to me, I even brought the company stamp while walking to the reception and I realised that there wasn't any document waiting for me, but a bouquet of white roses with a cute teddy bear and chocolates!

Omg.... who is this secret admirer? There was a card attached and it ended with the initial of the s ender. After a second of guessing, it turned out the initials belongs to Big! Gosh... I almost jumped up at the reception, holding the flowers! Yeah, I was in cloud nine at that time.... Even Sussan can't stop teasing me.

Have know Big for eight years and this is the first time he gave me a bouquet for Valentines, or more precisely, I've never received anything from him at all for v-day except this year. But all forgiven, let bygones be bygones.....

So long the next bouquet doesn't have to wait for another eight years.... Haha.....

Luv ya dear.....

Monday, February 2, 2009

11:12 PM

Starting a new blog today as my previous one went dead on me after it has been declared as a dead blog some times back... come to think of it, it has been more than a year since I last updated that blog... (Oops....!)

All thanks to Charlene and Belle for the help rendered during the creation of this blog. For example, I won't even know how to change the skin, if not for them! Haha...

New blog, new beginning.... Endeavour to update oftenly to keep in touch with family and friends around! Wish there are 48 hours a day instead....